I Know all the Songs by Heart

     After experiencing the sudden death of my brother, I felt the veil between here and there become unbearably thin. Istruggled to find meaning in a world that could continue on despite him leaving it. I eventually found solace in knowing that if my brother was able to communicate with me, he would and I began to welcome the possibility of him existing in a state beyond my understanding.

     From the depths of my grief, I created a symbolic language out of everyday occurrences where mondainity could be seen in a miraculous light. I was reminded of my brother daily, particularly in moments where I felt awe and I began actively seeking out moments that I refer to as “tiny miracles.” The light filtering through the trees and illuminating a particular spotfelt like a message. Shadow and light became symbolic of my longing while affirming, the gift of still getting to be here. Over time, I allowed myself the gift of accepting not knowing.

     In these highly saturated images, color entices the viewer with beauty while the scene hints at the melancholic. As I photograph myself and my two sons as representations of my emotional states, I revisit my memories and reconcile with a future in which my brother no longer exists. I hope that by choosing to see spiritual connections in my everyday life, I will inspire others to foster acceptance through observation and self made rituals.

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