I Know all the Songs by Heart
After the tragic death of my brother, I began to file away every memory that I had of him in an effort to preserve his essence. I longed for any signs to prove his continued existence and I was unable to think of him in a past tense. I didn’t have the luxury of a religion to give me peace and I had many more questions than answers. Can he think of me? and..what happened to all of his favorite songs? I started to photograph representations of my great loss met with a sense of wonder.
Through these photographs of myself, my children, and family archives of my brother I am chasing the story of his fleeting life and my sensitivity to the unknowable. When I witnessed the changing seasons or a breeze flittering through the curtains in my studio, I am abruptly reminded of time passing. I look for objects and scenes that can be interpreted as portals to another place that is beyond our understanding. I look for him in Science and in poetry. I have begun accept that I am still here to experience all of these things for him.
“I know all the songs by heart” is my photographic reconciliation with the beauty of that which we cannot know. I still feel his presence out there somewhere and I long for the past, a reconfigured future or perhaps a place where the soul can return home.